The Light of Christmas

It’s Christmas Eve. If I’m being honest, I’m not really in the Christmas mood this year. In the last year and a half, I’ve lost my dad and my little brother. Christmas was my dad’s favorite time of year. He really went all out with decorations, and you could just see how much he loved it. My brother was a little less enthusiastic about it, but what stands out to me as I think about him today is how much he enjoyed life. Both of these amazing men brought light to my life in different ways, and I’m feeling the darkness left in their absence this year. This Holiday season just feels flat to me.

This is why I want to focus on something that I have been thinking about in the last few weeks that is a little more positive. I want to talk about what Jesus brought when He was born that day 2,000 years ago in Bethlehem. To do that, I want to start with the Gospel of John. I love the way he begins his account of the life of Jesus. He says, “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. 4 In him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.”

John begins his Gospel in a way totally different from the other three Gospel authors. He starts with “In the beginning.” This is an obvious reference to Genesis 1:1. John’s goal is to bring us back to the beginning of creation to show that not only is Jesus pre-existent, but that His life on earth is somehow related to what God did in creation. So, what did God do? Well, we don’t have to read far in Genesis to get to the first creative act that God carried out. Genesis 1:3 says, “And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” Prior to this, Genesis tells us that “darkness was over the face of the deep.” The world, in it’s unordered, chaotic form was in total darkness . . . that is, until God spoke!

How does this relate to Jesus? Well, John doesn’t really include a “birth narrative.” Instead, he offers the prologue quoted above. John 1:1-18 is all about how God came to earth as a man. John goes on, though, to talk about light. He says that the life that is in Christ is “the light of men [humanity].” This light is created for humanity. As William Barclay said in his commentary on John, “If people do not possess that light, they walk in darkness and do not know where they are going (12:36). When they receive that light and believe in it, they walk no more in darkness (12:46).”

I believe that this light that John speaks of is directly connected to the light of Genesis 1:3. Barclay also says, “The light Jesus brings is the light which puts chaos to flight. In the creation story, God moved upon the dark, formless chaos which was before the world began and said: ‘Let there be light’ (Genesis 1:3). The new-created light of God routed the empty chaos into which it came. So Jesus is the light which shines in the darkness (1:5). He is the one person who can save life from becoming a chaos.” In other words, Jesus is a renewal of that “creation day” light which drove back the chaotic darkness.

John 1:5 says, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” Some translations say “the darkness did not comprehend it.” I think this is interesting that the Greek word could have either meaning. This light, both at creation and in Jesus, was so overpowering that the darkness not only couldn’t stop it. It couldn’t even make sense of what was happening when the light invaded it.

This is the type of light that Jesus brings! It’s an overpowering, anti-chaos light. More than that, it is a “new creation” light! The reason John brings us back to that original creative act of God is to bring to mind what would have been without sin and death, and John is telling us that this is what Jesus is going to reinstate. Jesus came to bring us back to God’s original plan for humanity, namely to live in an eternal rest with Him, basking in the light.

I know I can’t be the only person who is having a hard time this Christmas. In fact, I know that my family is struggling in much the same way that I am. It’s been a really hard couple years. It feels like I am stuck in darkness. It feels like my world is chaotic and falling apart at the seams. If you’re like me, it’s really hard to put on a happy face and participate in the “joy” of Christmas this year. However, this is not the end of the story!

Jesus brought light to a dark world. He came to overcome the chaos and restore the world to what it was before sin and death. I know, we are not completely there right now. Jesus knows that too. He experienced it first hand when they killed Him on the cross. We can, however, experience bits of it in this life. This is what the Church is supposed to be: little pockets of Eden (heaven on earth) trying to expand it to the rest of the world.

More than that, though, we can look forward to a day when the light is constant and eternal. Darkness, chaos, sin, and death will be driven out forever, and we will live in a world completely united with the presence and glory of God. More than that, I can trust that my friends and family who have already passed away are experiencing this already! This is the Christmas promise. This is what that little baby wrapped up in a stone feeding trough was going to bring about. This Christmas, remember that God came to us to defeat the chaos that is ruling our world and bring us peace and joy forever. Even if this season is hard, I hope you can rest in that. I love you all and Merry Christmas!

Going After Strange Flesh (Rated-R Bible)

Today, I want to talk about another story that I’m sure a lot of people, even those who aren’t Christians, are aware of. That is the story of Sodom and Gomorrah. However, I want to focus on it from a slightly different angle. Most of us, when we think of this account, picture the destruction of the cities. Others may think about the sin of homosexuality. While I do believe that both of these play a role in what takes place, there is another aspect that isn’t usually addressed.

Now, for anyone who isn’t super familiar with the story, When Abraham left his home and traveled to Canaan, he brought his nephew, Lot, with him. After a while, they parted ways, and Lot and his family went to live in the Jordan Valley, likely near the Dead Sea. This area was “well watered everywhere like the garden of the LORD.” However, the people in the area were not good people.

A time came when God saw the depravity of the people of the Jordan Valley, and He decided to destroy the cities of the area. Yahweh and two angels met with Abraham to tell him of the plan, and Abraham asked God to spare Lot and his family, to which He agreed. Then the angels go to the city of Sodom to warn Lot to get out of the city.

This is where I want to focus. The angels, called “men” in the story, end up staying with Lot for the night. Genesis 19:4-5 says, “But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house. 5 And they called to Lot, ‘Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, that we may know them.'” Now, for those who may not understand, to “know” them means they want to have sex with them. Furthermore, in this context, it likely means that they want to rape them.

Here is where it gets interesting. We, as the reader, are well aware that these “men” are actually angels. However, the men of the city of Sodom don’t know this. All they know is that Lot has two men staying at his house. I’m going to speculate a little bit here, as none of this is in the text, but it seems to me that the men of the city are doing this, at least partially, because of who Lot is. He is an outsider to the city, and as far as we know, he worships Yahweh.

Now, I want to say something here. I don’t believe that this behavior means that all of the men of Sodom are practicing homosexuals. In fact, I think that this changes how many of us view this story, because it makes the sin of Sodom something other than just homosexuality. As Michael Heiser states in episode 435 of the Naked Bible Podcast, “It had to do more with the homosexual rape of the two men Lot was harboring and the ensuing humiliation upon Lot in the shame/honor culture that required hospitality to strangers in the extreme . . . it’s a Middle Eastern cultural thing that we are just not familiar with.”

In other words, the point was to humiliate both Lot and the men. However, we also see another aspect of this sin addressed in other parts of Scripture. In Jude 7, Jude writes, “Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.” The term “unnatural desire” is more accurately translated as “strange, or other, flesh.” This conveys the idea of something other than human. Here’s why. They were thought to be men. That would be “the same” flesh. However, we see Jude call this “other flesh.” It seems his point is that the men of Sodom were crossing a boundary other than just homosexuality.

I would suggest that what we see here is the same sort of infraction that we see in Genesis 6, but in reverse. While the sin that the men are guilty of is homosexuality in its most basic form, they were really guilty of transgressing the boundary between spiritual and physical. This is further explained through Jude 8, which says, “Yet in like manner these people also, relying on their dreams, defile the flesh, reject authority, and blaspheme the glorious ones.” Jude, in comparing the false teachers to the people of Sodom and Gomorrah, points out the defiling of the flesh, the rejection of authority, and the blaspheming of the “glorious ones.”

From this, what we see is that the men of Sodom were not simply homosexuals. Rather, they were rejecting the authority of God by trying to humiliate Lot and his visitors. Furthermore, they were breaking the sexual boundary between the physical and spiritual. In this sense, we can actually learn a lot more from Sodom and Gomorrah than that homosexuality is wrong.

Today, we see people who claim to be Christians who reject the authority of God. Now, they don’t usually try to have sex with angels. All of us have areas of our lives in which we reject the authority of God. It may be sleeping with our girlfriend/boyfriend. It might be giving in to the temptations of drugs or alcohol. Possibly, you struggle with being ethical in business dealings. Whatever the area, it likely comes at the cost of others, even their humiliation . . . or yours.

The sin of Sodom is often taught as something they did, but in reality, we can all fall into the same trap. It isn’t just sexual sin. It is any time we choose our way over God’s. That is the basic building block of all sin. James 1:14-15 says, “But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.” Let us all beware of letting our own lusts and desires displace the Holy Spirit who draws us to God, convicts us of our sins, and empowers us to overcome the temptations of the world.

It is easy to be ensnared by the yearning for temporary joys and happiness that this world can offer, but we need to remember that those things will ultimately lead to death. Maybe not a sulfur and brimstone kind of death, but a death, nonetheless. Having been there, I can tell you that you feel dead inside. Don’t live in that death. Call on Jesus! Let Him show you true life! I truly love all of you, and I pray that this is the desire and pursuit of your life. I promise, it’s a path worth walking.

10 years! What a Ride!

I will almost never post to things in one day, but I just realized that I have been writing on this page for 10 years. That is unbelievable to me. It doesn’t feel like it, but 10 years ago, January 5 of 2013 to be exact, I was a sophomore in Bible college. I probably thought I knew everything. My wife and I had been married for just over two years, and we only had one kid, who was almost a year old. We were living in Glendale, AZ, and we were in the process of church hunting due to our previous church going in a direction we didn’t like. Things have changed dramatically since then, and yet they are so much the same!

Over the last 10 years, I feel like I have grown a lot. I graduated college. I got ordained as a pastor. I have built ministries from the ground up, served in existing ministries, and even seen some of those ministries fall apart. I have made amazing friends who encouraged me in the Lord, and I have had to leave those friends as I’ve moved around the country. They’re still there, but I don’t talk to them nearly as much as I should . . . a product of my anxiety, apathy (medication induced), and even fear. I’ve also drifted from God, followed my own passions and desires, and tried to do things on my own. Spoiler alert! It didn’t work. I have had several interesting jobs (none of them in ministry), and somehow, by God’s grace, survived what should have been two fatal heart attacks at 40 years old. Needless to say, it’s been a rollercoaster.

So, where am I now? Well, I have found a newly revived passion for God and teaching others about Him and His word. I am living in Mississippi (never would have imagined that!). I am unemployed because my anxiety and depression got so bad that I couldn’t even get out of bed a lot of days. I actually had a three day long panic attack. Not fun! I am involved (and getting more involved) in a church that I really like. I do worry that they will think I’m crazy when they read this blog, but I guess we’ll deal with that when we get there.

All in all, I have a good life, although I struggle to see it that way at times. My depression and anxiety, which was only made worse by the PTSD I suffer from my heart attacks, is now getting better. I am doing weekly counseling, as well as some other treatments, that have worked wonderfully. The truth is, though, I think that my renewed and reinvigorated love for God and relationship with Him is the main driving force behind my improvement. Please don’t tell my wife. She’s been on me for years, and I wouldn’t want her to think she was right all along (she was! And I’m sure she’s reading this.).

So, over the last ten years, I have had some serious ups, like graduating college, the birth of my second son (not that the first was any less amazing . . . just not in the last 10 years.), getting to travel the country, getting to go to Hawaii, being ordained to do ministry as a pastor, and buying my first house (although that has its own not so great backstory). There have also been a lot of downs. I almost died from a heart attack, and then I did actually die from a second one (I got better). I have had mental and emotional breakdowns that have, at times, made a “normal” life impossible. I have had to leave churches and people I loved. I lost my dad suddenly to a car accident. Sadly, I feel like there has been more down than up, but that is probably just my perspective. Remember . . . depression.

Here is the point to all of this, though. Through all of this, through all of the amazing moments and debilitating struggles, I can say one thing for sure. God has been with me through all of it, even when I didn’t see it. Sometimes I feel like I have completely failed as a husband, a dad, and a man. There were times I felt like my life wasn’t worth living anymore. Often I feel like there is no light at the end of my tunnel. I feel like, even though my depression and anxiety are improving, I will never be able to live the life I want to live. Sometimes I feel like I will never be of value to the people around me or to the world.

The truth is, though, God brought me through all of this, and as cliche as it sound, He allowed it for a reason. Do I know what that reason is? No, not really. I can say that I have grown from a lot of it, but I still struggle. It is still hard for me to simply exist some days. My greatest desire is to be able to teach people about the Bible. God gave me a passion to work within the local church to disciple others and deepen their love and understanding of the Scriptures. My wife says that God saved my life so that I could do that one day, but, to be honest, it feels like that day is never going to come.

OK, I keep trying to bring the mood up, and yet I keep going back to complaining. Here is where I am at right now, in this moment: I am leaning on God! I started writing this blog again because I can hopefully live out my passion for teaching right here. I have hope that, even if I never get hired as a pastor or find some other way to be a Bible teacher, I will always have Jesus. He will always present me with ways to spread His truth to others. More than all of that, though, He will always be with me.

Our God isn’t some distant deity who we have to entice to intercede in our lives. No, our God is close to us at all times. In fact, He lives in us! His Spirit actually lives in us and fills us with the joy and peace and comfort and love that can only come from God . . . if we let Him. So, am I doing perfect? No. Are all my days great days? Not even close right now. Am I “#tooblessedtobestressed”? Absolutely not. Life is hard. When I draw close to God, when I really let Him define who I am and what I’m worth, and when I let everything else except for Him fade away, I find peace. I find comfort. There have even been a few times I’ve found joy . . . which has been extremely rare. God doesn’t make all the hard things go away. He makes the hard things seem small in light of who He is and who He says I am. That is where I’m at right in this moment.

Things aren’t easy. I’m in constant pain (from broken ribs from CPR that will never fully heal). I have had more death in my life in the last three years than anyone should. But right now, right in this moment, I feel peaceful. I feel loved. I feel strong. I feel like my life has a purpose, and that purpose is to love people the way God has loved me . . . and that brings me more joy than I have felt in LONG time.

I don’t know where you’re at right now. You’re life may be great, or you could feel like everything is in shambles and there’s no way out. My prayer for you tonight is that you will draw close to God. Sorry, my “Christianese” took over. Just talk to Him. Tell Him what you’re feeling. Yell at Him if you have to. Tell Him you’re angry. He can handle it. Or, cry your heart out. Tell Him that you feel like you can’t go on. Tell Him that you’re scared, alone, or broken. That’s what He’s there for.

Most importantly, though, give your life to Him. He is the King of the Universe. He rules over everything and everyone. But, He’s a good King. He wants what is best for His people. He wants nothing more than for you to run to Him, trust Him, and let Him be your strength, your hope, and your refuge. He wants you to be part of His family! I don’t write this to tell you that you need to get your life right or follow His rules. That’s not what this is about. No, this is about letting your Father lift you up and rescue you . . . because He will.

Ten years ago, I thought I knew it all. Now I have more questions than I’ve ever had. The one thing I don’t question, though, is God’s love and presence in my life. I have seen it first hand. I have felt Him when I’m near Him. I have seen the way He fulfills me when I just let Him! That is what I pray for anyone who is feeling lost or hopeless or alone. Run to Him! Please! It is the best decision you will ever make!